song lyrics and 70 MPH

Trout is at college. I made it there and back, and with minimal tears. This is huge for me…. HUGE. I’m the type to cry at Hallmark commercials. I’ve also cried when Jane was having her braces worked on. Years ago I cried when Trout’s name was listed by the elementary school principal when he announced children who received reading awards. The tears couldn’t be held back when I met with the speech therapist during our annual meeting regarding Z’s speech progress (he was doing awesome… but I still cried). And when any of the kids cry, I’m never able to not cry.

When did I cry this weekend? Twice. The second time was last night, after returning home. Made dinner and Z’s job was to set the table. No matter how often he does this (almost nightly) we still need to inform him of what to put on the table: five placemats, five napkins and five forks. Last night it was four placemats, four napkins and four forks. And the hardest part was moving Z to Trout’s spot, so that Jane and Z wouldn’t be on one side with the other side of the oval table empty. A table for four. Our new “normal”. The tears didn’t stop until well after dinner.

The first time I cried this weekend was on the drive down. Did you know the major interstate highway in my state is now 70 miles per hour? I did not. It’s been a while since I’ve driven that way. I’m a stickler for rules, and I’m nervous driving my precious cargo at such high speeds, therefore my cruise control was set at 70 MPH (okay, maybe 72). Jane turned on the radio and we caught Fleetwood Mac’s Landslide.

Well, I’ve been afraid of changing
cause I’ve built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older
I’m getting older too

Yes, it is possible to drive at 70 MPH on a busy interstate with tears flowing nonstop. I turned off the radio after that one.