we’ll have no more of that

People get on my nerves very easily. Too easily. Too often.

You see, I have very little patience and I’m highly opinionated. Bad combination.

I’ve learned there are some people I can’t even be around for 10 minutes. While trying to not show that they bother me — while trying to be the nice well behaved grown-up that I’ve fooled most people into believing that I am — I end up becoming a completely different person. One who I’m not proud of. Sure, I don’t get all crazy with them … but I get crazy. I become this other person whom I don’t like. All so that I don’t scream and tell these idiots how stupid and idiotic they are! In a warped way it reminds me of high school, when you’d act all weird and so unlike your true self when the cute boy you had a crush on sat next to you at lunch.

Why don’t I just avoid these people? Life is too short to put up with idiots, right? Sometimes you can’t help it, such as when the stupid idiots are related to you, but if you can help it, why not? Why haven’t I learned this lesson yet? And the ironic thing is I’ve been instructing Z to avoid certain people, yet I haven’t taken my own advice.

On the first day of school Z got sucked into the web of a dangerous little girl at the bus stop. A little girl who has no respect for authority or rules, and knows no discipline. She got on my naughty list very quickly, and I did not enjoy seeing how Z transformed when she was around. The stories from school all involved “devil child this” and “devil child that”. He was transfixed. I had to put my foot down and dissolve this ”friendship” (I am using that term loosely, since Z wanted to be her friend, while she just wanted to dominate and control Z). I did not hesitate to speak to both the bus driver and teacher, demanding that Z and this devil child not sit together on the bus and that they have limited interaction at school.

Wouldn’t that have been awesome if that was the only one — the only problem child in our lives? Alas, no. There’s another “friend” of Z’s that he sees only occasionally. And I now know I have to change that from “occasionally” to “never”. His mother does not discipline him, allowing him to behave however he wishes, which is always in an extremely physical way. No matter how many times I instruct Z to walk away, to call for help, to say “NO”, he instead changes into a complaisant Z. One who does what he can to not offend this obnoxious boy. With enough time at these playdates, Z even turns into a copycat and mimics this child’s behavior. No, we will have none of that any longer, thank you very much.

So it’s time for me to take my own advice and to stay away from these people that are no good for me. Just thinking about not spending time with them is liberating! I can already feel the stress melting away.

Will other people still get on my nerves? Sure. It’s bound to happen. But when I can make the decision to remove myself from people who are bad influences, both for myself and for my children, or from people that unknowingly make me change who I am, I sure as heck am going to do it.