Jane is 17

Yesterday I posted on twitter a little bit. Now, this can be a problem, because twitter isn’t something I feel comfortable with — I think it’s more for people who are at least a decade younger than I am and for those that aren’t as OCD as I am. But anyway, I posted about what feels like an alien living in my abdomen. I’ve got something going on down there that comes and goes. Yesterday it felt like there was a creature twisting and turning inside of me, doing somersaults while holding a serrated knife. It’s a pain I’ve had before and, yes I know, I know, I KNOW I need to go see a doctor, but don’t nag me about that right now, okay? The point is I mentioned on twitter that there was an alien in my abdomen and this made some people think I was pregnant. (Let’s all wait for those that know me well to stop laughing…. We all good now? Okay, back to the story….)

I squished their excitement (or, calmed their fears?) by explaining that (A) I have no uterus, and (B) I’m way too old to procreate.

And now, today, we celebrate Jane’s 17th birthday. And the image of an alien in my abdomen kind of reminds me of when I had Jane. No, she’s not an alien! She’s a wonderful, funny, intelligent, dedicated, kind, sweet daughter. Far from an alien, but the birthing process, well, that was more out of this world, in a bad way.

That birth experience was hard and painful and traumatic and scary. You know how some women tell you their horrific birth stories and you just know some parts are exaggerated? Well, my story sounds exaggerated but is actually 100% true. And I will be so kind as to not tell you about it. You’re welcome.

Back to Jane. My dear Jane is so worth all the pain and problems and trouble that I went through. Would I do it all again? Yes, for her I would if I had to. Again and again — if I had to — for her.

I am so happy to be Jane’s mom, and so thrilled she is my daughter and my friend.

Happy 17th Jane!