new year and resolutions

At this time many people make resolutions.

Well, some people make them. Some don’t. Many that do make them then break them.

Me? Ummm…. In my head I make many, yet I don’t always put them on paper so there usually is nothing to prove if I do or don’t keep them. If I did write them down, well, I’d want to be healthier and live simpler and do for others more than I have. Yeah, sure, good resolutions, but I also would have better resolutions, resolutions that are more day to day. Such as to stay away from people that bug the crap out of me.

For example, those that text and drive. Instead of being behind these idiots, swearing and waving my arms and wishing them a sudden intense stomach virus, I resolve to switch lanes, take a few deep breaths, take an alternate road if necessary — whatever can get me away from the drivers that cause me stress.

What other resolutions do I have specially for myself? Write more! I have a novel in the works and I have ignored it for a few months. It is with me always, when I shower or when I’m washing dishes or vacuuming — ideas on where to take the main character and what she may or may not do on a day to day basis. Now to get it out of my head and typed up and then *hopefully* before 2013 is over, to try to publish it. How? When? Where? HOW????? I have no idea, but that will be part of what I do in 2013. Somehow … someway.

Big things will happen in 2013 for my family: Jane will choose, visit, and apply to colleges. And by the end of 2013, a year from now, she’ll have a short list of where she will spend those next four years, 2014 onward. Wow. Major decisions for her — and for us!

By the end of 2013 Trout will have turned 21. An actual real grown up individual. Whatever tattered and pinned together apron strings there still are will be severed for sure. He’ll be more than half way through college and living off campus (if all goes as planned) and who knows what other changes will happen for him, now that he’ll be an ADULT. (Excuse me for a second… time to refill my wine.)

For Z my resolutions are huge … HUGE! Firstly, to do what is best for him, whether that be home school, or switch him to a new homeroom teacher, and to have meetings (I hate meetings) with the administration so that he can get the help he needs at school. His issues aren’t academic, but rather social and organizational (he doesn’t remember to bring his books to the library every Friday, so he can’t ever get new ones, and he’ll wear his jacket ALL DAY LONG unless someone reminds him to take it off, which they never do — things like that). And to find a support group of some sort. I need to talk with others who are walking the same path, and those that have already traveled down this route. I am shocked, yes, 100% shocked down to my socks, that finding such a group is so difficult. I had heard there were so many resources and websites and message boards and support groups. Well, where are they all hiding, is what I want to know, and what I resolve to find out.

The most immediate issue I have with Z is to plan his birthday party. Eight days from today … 8 days from today! … he’ll turn 7 and he wants a birthday party because he believes that is what is supposed to happen when you have a birthday.  I haven’t planned anything yet, and in the past few days we’ve been talking about such a party. Well, it’s very hard to plan a party when there aren’t any children on the guest list.

Z has social issues. He doesn’t know how to make friends. He is a lovely, friendly, kind, giving, terrific child, but doesn’t know how to make friends. He does his own thing. He’s in his own world and there are no other children in his world. No one to invite. We’ve talked and talked and I’ve hinted and probed and only two children can be named to be invited. Also a few 20 year olds (Trout’s friends) and 17 year olds (Jane’s friends), and of the two his age, he doesn’t really know them. He only knows them from recess and after much talking it seems they don’t get along well, but they are the only ones he even knows at all.

So what do I do? Invite these two? Maybe some other children of my friends? Children he has met before but aren’t necessarily his friends? Will those children want to come (I kind of doubt it)? Do I insist on a family-only party/gathering, of just the five of us? Maybe invite a few 17 and 20 year olds? That’s not exactly what Z wants, though he would be happy with it, but how do I give him what he wants when what he wants seems impossible?

Check back in a week and by then I’ll have had to make decisions. I resolve to make those in the next day or two! I have no choice.

Maybe those are the resolutions that actually get resolved: Those resolutions you make to do things differently because you have to make changes. Either for your health, or for your sanity, or for your children. Those are the resolutions that aren’t broken.

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Happy 2013 everyone. Thank you for reading. Thank you for being out there — wherever you are — and yet right here with me. Thank you for sending good vibes and support. I may not have found the specific support group I am looking for, but I know you support me in whatever I need to do, and for that I am very appreciative!